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Welcome to ANTICHRISTBOYFRIEND.COM! Your days of dating liars, cheaters, and total scumbags are over! Here are identifying characteristics for 15 potential boyfriends, along with advice about who to keep and who to kick to the curb. Check out our TIPS for a dose of the Mr. Wrongs outlined in How to Tell If Your Boyfriend is the Antichrist. The point is not to frighten you into permanent single status. It’s simply this: If you want to find your soulmate, you have to make informed romantic choices.

My Boyfriend is the Antichrist
My Boyfriend is the Antichrist
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYFRIEND
IS POSSESSED BY DEMONS
  1. Sometimes you feel like you don’t know him at all.
  2. He can be quite the potty mouth.
  3. Terrible acid reflux.
  4. Red-eye episodes not limited to photographs.
  5. You have to be on top so he doesn’t levitate.



Should you break up with him?

You don’t have to break up—you just have to find a good exorcist to tackle this problem. But check references thoroughly, as your boyfriend could die if his exorcist sucks. And under no circumstances should you attempt to perform the exorcism yourself—expelling demons is not like fixing a leaky faucet.